kuyohashi

@kuyohashi

Geoffrey Grider #fundie #wingnut #conspiracy

I'm going to regret asking this, but why wouldn't we expect to find the True Cross or the nails of the Crucifixion on Earth? Is the implication that Jesus ascended to Heaven bodily, and took the methods of his execution with him? Like some really fucked up souvenirs of his trauma? Is he sitting up in the Golden City, laying on his bed, looking at the nail that was driven into his feet and thinking, “man, those were good times. Lot of friends, some wacky adventures, even had my first kiss. What a wild and crazy summer!”?

George Kavassilas/Dr. Michael Salla #ufo #magick #conspiracy

So, your boy was abducted by aliens, beat them in a psychic staring contest, and brought down an intergalactic empire all by his lonesome?

Cool, did he take any photos? Get any autographs, maybe? Something to prove that he is a real life Flash Gordon (♫Ahhh-ahhh!♫) and not just another nutter mumbling to himself that UNICEF is after him because he uncovered the sinister secret behind Chex Mix or something? Because I can claim that I found Narnia at the bottom of a bottle of No Boats On Sunday and saved the world from Darth Voldemort in an epic thumb war as Within Temptation played in the background; doesn't make me a fearsome fantasy hero, just someone who maybe needs to drink a little less NBOS.

KelseyEdward #pratt

“How dare an outgroup reclaim a word that was meant to be a slur against them! Don't they know us normies need that slur? Now it has no power anymore!"

Judge Anna Von Reitz #crackpot #wingnut #conspiracy

Andrew Tate #sexist #homophobia

@Creativerealms #204165

Probably? I know he's denounced eating and drinking and reading books as unmanly. Which is all just so fucking weird, I'm surprised he's not the GOPs pick for Veep.

Hulk Hogan #racist #wingnut

*Sigh*

I used to watch this man's cartoon. I honestly used to think Roddy Piper was the real bad guy. Now I know better and am ashamed at how easily I was taken in as a kid.

I guess it's into the Cosby Closet with Terry here, where the icons of our youth are kept when we finally realize what pieces of shit they actually are.

Ray Comfort #fundie

Ray, you try that shit on an actual person and they'll be sending your creepy ass back to Australia in parcels.

Andrew Tate #sexist #homophobia

*Sigh*

Isn't this asshole in prison somewhere? I haven't been keeping up because I prefer to keep important shit in my brain, but isn't he banged up for the fucked up shit he did? Can't they take his fucking phone away or block him from social media or something? Why is he on social media? Shouldn't he be focused on his legal defense? Why is the presidential election in a country he abandoned and, Universe willing, will never see again, his main priority?

various commenters #interphobia #transphobia

“Everybody knows that all women are pretty, have big boobs, and are demure and sweet and submissive! And any woman who does meet even one of those criteria, is in fact a MAN!!!! We're not the sexist weirdos, everyone else is!”

Do their thoughts ever pass through their brains before they exit out their mouths? Do they never, at some point, actually consider what they're about to say before they say it, and decide, ‘no, I'm not going to say that, that makes me sound stupid, crazy, or stuprazy.'?”

Joseph Z #conspiracy #crackpot #fundie #wingnut

This Asshole: “See, look at him! Tim Walz hugs his wife like a Democrat!”

Sane Bystander: “Um, sir, he is a Democrat. Also, what does that even mean? Do Democrats hug their wives differently than Repulicans?”

TAH: “Yes! Democrats hug people with love and warmth and compassion and all those other words we GOPers use but don't really understand! It's all so…so…”

SBA: “Sweet? Inspiring? …Normal?”

TAH: “That's the word! ‘Normal!’ Why, I bet he's never even fucked a sectional or scooped out the last delicious dollops of pudding with his bare fingers, or traded one of his kids to a notorious pedophile like they were foil Pokemon cards! What a weirdo!”

C.T. #racist #psycho

“Why hasn't the race war I keep insisting is totally gonna happen someday soon, actually happened any time soon after I make that proclamation? Am I so out of touch? No, no, it's the non-racists who are wrong.” -Seymour Skinhead

Laura Hollis #wingnut #fundie #racist #conspiracy

Those pushing to further reduce Christianity's influence on Western civilization – or eliminate Western civilization itself – will soon find that what takes its place is not a secular utopia of multicultural respect and scientific rationality but a bloody morass of sectarian conflict, widespread ignorance, routine violence and subjugation of the weak by those in power. In other words, the status quo before Christianity.

Also, the status quo during Christianity. Don't act like you're all innocent puppies, Laura; Christians have been, and continue to be, a net regression towards superstition, ignorance, and violence. The only difference between a Christian theocracy and an Islamic one is the language in which you shout invectives at your self-declared ‘enemies of God’ as you murder swarms of them for daring to not fit in the box you have planned for all the human race, and the availability of bacon. Otherwise, it's just a straight palette swap, an ecumenical Shotoclone.

Father Dabney #racist #psycho #fundie

Oh no, you mean people from somewhere else are invading your homeland? Are they criminalizing your language and religion? Are they reducing you to a vassal state? Are the children of your leaders learning at their universities so they an better serve the new Empire? Are they relocating your national treasures to their museums?

Must suck, buddy.

But hey, if you ever want to see the British Crown Jewels, you can always visit them in New Delhi, right?

Snake Baker #homophobia

“See, I have it right here, my ‘Arbiter of Who Gets to Fuck’ license; it's got my name, and my picture, and it's laminated and everything! Got it off some hack writer guy, Brian Nimblemeyer or something, I can't be arsed enough to care, and it allows me to decide whose penis goes in which hole, and I have decreed that all penises shall go into the pussy hole! None other is allowed! I have spoken!”

Speaking of sticking it in the right hole, has Python-Wrangler here been told to go fuck himself lately?

Jackson Lahmeyer #fundie #wingnut

Donald Trump is like a teddy bear with a missing eye doing roadwork in downtown Patna, India
Kamala Harris is like rain on your wedding day.

Neither makes sense, so it's about on par with what you said.

various commenters #interphobia

Khelif could gather the brainless hordes of Ovarit, drop trou and give them the proof they demand, and they'd still insist that ‘he’ just tucked it in really deep.

Also, having ones nethers poked and prodded at the behest of some hate-filled bigots is, by it's very nature, intrusive. There is no non-intrusive way to have a ‘gender test’, it will always be uncomfortable and traumatizing.

Andrew Anglin #sexist #homophobia #transphobia #racist #forced-birth

Anglin is still salty because the rejection letter for his application to the Legion of Doom read, “Jesus fuck no, even we have standards, man! Stop writing us, stop calling us, stop giving unsolicited advice that Metropolis be ‘cleansed of the untermenschen’ and stop sending nudes, Sinestro still hasn't fully recovered from the combination laughing-slash-vomiting fit the last batch induced in him.”

Jesse Lee Peterson #fundie

Doing what’s in front of you on a daily basis will lead you wear you need to be!
…wear you need to be!
…wear you need to be!
…WEAR you need to be!

I have no words. Language cannot begin to fathom the depths of JLP's idiocy. Even his usual, “Jim Crow and slavery were just the bee's knees and I would gladly sell my children, grandchildren, and everyone who looks like me to Holy White Massa for a pat on the head!” nonsense suddenly pales in the shadow of his true stupidity, now here revealed for all to see.

Huh. Guess I do have words after all.

Eric Hovind #fundie

I can't speak for Eric, but I got my blue eyes from my creators, my parents.

Maybe Eric found his in the gutter, right next to his woo-woo magical thinking.

Jesse Lee Peterson #racist

Nick Fuentes: “I am a white supremacist. I say this with my mouth that I use for talking, that I, Nicholas Rebecca Takamoto Goldstein de Beaumarcher Fuentes, am a white supremacist. I think white people are just the ginchiest, non-whites are smelly doo-doo heads, and I long to create a disenfranchised fascist state where only people I like get rights and everyone else gets the boot, either to their backside, or on their neck. Yep, I am a white supremacist, no doubt about it.”

JLP: “See fellas? Nick isn't a white supremacist! I don't know where anyone got that silly notion, but it's pure slander and I will not stand for it! Right, Nick?”

Fuentes: ”Did somebody misplace a n****r? Because I found their n****r. Come pick it up before it touches me and I catch black.”

JLP: “Nope, no white supremacist here!”

Concerned Residents of Florida #wingnut #crackpot #conspiracy

“Why is a coastal, near-tropical region of the country being subjected to weather one would expect to find in coastal, near-tropical regions? Sure, the hippies say it's climate change increasing the frequency and severity of the storms, but I like to live in a magical world, and thus prefer to think it's all the masterplan of COBRA, the Legion of Doom, and Dr. Claw cranking their mutual weather dominators up to eleven, even though I have no evidence of this and couldn't tell a real storm from a football to my nuts.”

Donald trump #ableist #mammon #psycho #elitist

“This is the best face I've ever eaten! Five stars, would eat again!”
- some leopard.

Seriously, you try to talk to your uncle about helping your disabled son (whom Donald has already tried to kill by proxy by cutting off Fred III's family medical insurance to try to pressure him into giving up his rightful share of Fred Jr's inheritance, the sociopathic fucker) and the best you get is a meet 'n greet with Ben Carson? Ben Carson? Freddy, if Uncle Dipshit's utter apathy towards William's welfare didn't sell it, the realization that he was essentially foisting you on his administrations version of the bumbling comedic sidekick in the Saturday morning cartoon villain group should have fucking hammered it home.

Maybe if you had dressed William in a blonde wig and told Donny that it was Ivanka, finally succumbing to all his stumbling flirtations, he would have given you the time of day.

Atticus-Kotch #fundie #conspiracy #crackpot

Toni Coleman #fundie

@Timjer #202742

Well, she is a Jehovah's Witness. Thinking and knowing things are actively discouraged in her faith.

Atticus-Kotch #fundie #conspiracy #crackpot

One, he was impeached. Twice.
Two, he has gone bankrupt. Six times.
Three, we're not upset the shooter missed Trump. We're baffled that he missed Trump. I say this as a fat guy, the dude's a double-wide, he looks like someone dipped an overinflated Michelin Man in nacho cheese powder, how do you miss him five times?

Andrew Anglin #transphobia

Oh look, Shrewy's back with another episode of “somebody did something wrong but I think that's okay because I bought my moral compass at Josef Mengele's garage sale”.

Jeff of Norwich #fundie

C.T. #racist #wingnut #conspiracy #psycho

“Waah waah waah, people can act on their own free will and not do the things I want them to do!”

Cry me a fucking river, asshole.

Then walk into it.

Donald Trump #fundie #god-complex #wingnut

!. The only blood ‘pouring’ anywhere was out of the three collateral hits, one of them being a fatality. Dotard got lacerated by broken glass, not grazed by a bullet. Not to diminish the event, but he was the least injured person out of anyone. Hell, even he made light of his injuries, saying he just ‘got his ear pierced.’ Hardly ‘serious trouble.’

2. He never does mention which ‘god’ is on his side. I figure, given his predilections, either Sanguine or Namira.

3. Calling his vision ‘righteous’ and his cause ‘pure’ is right the fuck out of those Hitler speeches I promise you this man has tossed off to. If I thought for one fucking second he could handle the pronunciation, I'd expect him to actually fucking utter the words ‘Gott Mitt Uns.’

Wayne Allyn Root #fundie #wingnut

@Malingspann #202025

We'll add ‘paper ballots’ to the list of things that God is vulnerable to, right next to ‘iron chariots,’ ‘roofing nails,’ and ‘two men kissing.’

…Or, God sent an assassin after Trump, then had him get winged by shrapnel, to remind him that a Certain Celestial Somebody has a long and storied history of not especially liking golden cows.

And God, being a Biden Booster, naturally did not send an assassin after Joe.

Rep. Glenn Grothman (R-WI) #sexist

“We must continue to travel back in time to an America where fewer people had rights,” the cross-eyed, knock-kneed dork of a Senator continued, occasionally wiping a patina of drool from his slacked, chinless jaw. “First we'll strip the feminists of the right to think for themselves, then the negro of the right to tell his white Massa 'no', then the queers of their right to exist, and they'll all be so much happier for it! Who could possibly disagree with out regressive plot to drag America, the land of the free an’ the home of the Whopper, back to a time when so many were not free, and the Whopper had not yet been invented, I don't think, I'm not sure about that one.”

Then as he left the stage, he stepped on a rake which had been, presumably, placed in his path by the collective will of the universe.

Yeshua via CodezVII #magick #ufo #conspiracy #god-complex

@Malingspann #201872

Well, Codez I was released stateside in 1987, but we Westerners got screwed out of Codezes II, III, and V. Codez IV was released over here as II, and Codez VI came out as Codez III. So when Codez VII came out in 1997, folks were just baffled as to what happened to the four games in between.

Luckily Squeenix reverted to the proper numbering on all the rereleases. I highly recommend getting the Codez Pixel Remasters, they're really damned good.

John Vivanco/Dr. Michael Salla #crackpot #magick #ufo #conspiracy

@Timjer #201838

“Remote viewing” is the bullshit woo-woo superpower once referred to as ‘astral projection.’

Yeshua via CodezVII #magick #ufo #conspiracy #god-complex

YOUR CAPS LOCK SEEMS TO BE STUCK. THIS HAPPENS SOMETIMES. WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IS, DISCONNECT YOUR KEYBOARD, CAREFULLY PRY THE KEY OFF WITH A SCREWDRIVER OR BUTTERKNIFE, CLEAN OUT THE CONTACTS WITH A COTTON SWAB, THEN GENTLY REPLACE THE KEY.

FOLLOW ME FOR MORE BASIC COMPUTER MAINTANANCE ADVICE FOR YOUR GRANDPARENTS.

Now, while that solves the issue of your sticky key (and I will not ask why your keys are sticky, that's between you, your personal god, and which ever Manyvids performer you subscribe to) it will do nothing to assuage your sad delusion that you are Jesus. Might I suggest psychiatric help?

Wayne Allyn Root #wingnut

“And then everyone got up and clapped, even my chicky fingies, and the waitress pulled off her Scooby-Doo mask and it was Donald Trump the whole time, and he gave me the Medal of Freedom for putting that free-thinking commie in his place, and then he kissed me full on right on the mouth with tongue, then whispered ‘no homo’ in my ear, then we walked out to his car, which was fucking KITT from Knight Rider!, and then we drove off into the sky to live in his cheeseburger castle on the moon!”

“Then I woke up and my sheets were all sticky again.”

Andrew Anglin #racist

@Peacemonger373 #201676

…if slavery was so “good” then why did so many slaves try to flee from such a system in the first place

Well clearly vaccines cause drapetomania, or something.

Also, gotta love how Shrewy thinks a slave could have written anything, when it was illegal for them to learn to read.

And by “love,” I of course mean, “create a voodoo doll of this Spam homunculus, drench it in tar and light it ablaze, then toss the charred remains into a woodchipper, then toss the woodchipper into a volcano, just on the off-chance that you'll get lucky and voodoo will actually work for once.”

"Francine Dubois"/Henry Makow PhD #sexist #wingnut #racist #conspiracy

This has “I am a gay black man” vibes.

What is that women talk about, that men never would? Because, being male myself and having had conversations with males, we have talked about everything from farts to titties to how often we wank to what porn we most recently watched on our lunchbreaks.

Do women have something that eclipses all that? Are their conversations just a long series of ever-escalating ‘Aristocrats’ jokes? Illuminate us, Henry!

Mel Gibson #fundie

Oh somebody tell me that Mel nailed this letter to the Archbishop's door.

He's already saying that the Pope isn't Christianing properly, and there's the whole, y'know, Jew-hating stuff, so he's already two points ahead on ‘Modern Martin Luthor Bingo.”

various commenters #transphobia #homophobia

@Bastethotep #201371

And the homophobes cheered, as their job in destroying their enemies- here, gay folks and women - had become that much easier.

Kevin Roberts #homophobia #transphobia #fundie

Five minutes before this was posted online: “Hm…should I drink this drain cleaner, or not? I have so many brilliant ideas to share with the world, but I also have this odd hankering to imbibe in caustic chemicals that will no doubt melt my tongue and turn my brain into soggy sponge toffee. What to do, what to do…”

David Barton #fundie #forced-birth #transphobia #homophobia #enbyphobia

“In summary, we're going to take away your rights and expect you to be cool with that. We cannot foresee any backlash to any of our Draconian measures whatsoever, nosireebob, where did this gallows come from and why are you slipping a rope over my neck? What's that? A secular revolution? Overthrowing the priest-class and their laity in favour of an enlightened rule? Aw shit, not this again!”

various commenters #transphobia

@Malingspann #201171

To be fair, neither was Angela/Peter; that aunt of his was so fucked in the head, it's a miracle his cousin Ricky turned out as alright as he did.

And again with the whole ‘transwomen are mocking USSSSSS!” Fucking hell, no, it actually isn't about you in the fucking slightest, holy shit the egos on some people.

Austin Ruse #homophobia #transphobia #wingnut #conspiracy

“If we can convince this one group that we want - no, NEED - to put on boxcars, to help us put this other group we need to put on boxcars, onto boxcars, then that first group will see how right we are to need to put THEM onto boxcars, and won't complain when the boxcars come a-rollin’ in.”

‘Large-brained’ my jiggly, numb ass. ‘Smooth brain’ is more like it.

C.T. #racist

@Sasha #201101

You are clearly forgetting that Hitler, simply by dint of being Hitler, was an unbeatable superhuman military genius, standing at a towering eighty-seven thousand feet tall, with eyes of blistering fire, teeth like a shark, a voice that could rattle the mountains and a cock so impressive it turned every straight American soldier into a mincing sissyboy eager to please Hitler-domo.

You know, instead of the slightly-below-average height gassy syphilitic that he was.

Also, “they internalized the Anglo-American narrative?” No, you lobster-fucking dullard, Europe fucking lived the fucking narrative. France, the Netherlands, Poland, they all got front row fucking seats to Hitler's utter fucking monstrosity. Nobody told the European nations that Hitler was bad, they fucking figured that shit out for themselves.

Meg Benedicte #ufo #magick #conspiracy

You know, I just realized that just a few years ago, these nutters would have locked themselves away in a compound and sipped on poisoned fruit juice waiting for a comet to come and take them to the mothership.

A hundred years before that, they would have sealed themselves in a cave to await the End of Days.

So just gathering together to stare at the sky and pretend they opened their third eyes into the future, I guess, is progress of a sort.

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia

Y’know, I think I'm gonna boot up some Cyberpunk 2077 and tool around with my transfemale V for a while, just because I can. Maybe later on I'll play some DOS2 as a female lizard, or fight some dragons as a lady Khajiit, who knows? I have the options, so the sky's the limit. Hell, maybe I'll play some Watch_Dogs Legion and make a femboi hacker, really mix it up.

And while I'm exploring my options vis-a-vis player creation and customizability, the PWITT-Twits will be seething that I have free will and can do as I please. Oh the horrors, oh the humanity, oh the schadenfreude!

Ben Bartee #homophobia #conspiracy

“How dare outside forces take umbrage with a sovereign nation brutally oppressing a minority group that I don't like but give token acceptance towards to hide my bigotry? That's colonialism! Let Uganda do what it wants to other human beings, you don't have the right to care about others in another country or to value the lives of all humans like we pretend to!”

Earsel Bill #wingnut #sexist #transphobia #homophobia

“I can't enjoy this piece of pop culture, it doesn't get my dick hard!”

Well yeah, it's not Goat Simulator, you sad asshole.

Meanwhile, people who have known the touch of another human being and who don't wear their own rectum as a face mask can play whatever the fuck it is you've got in your craw without issue. Almost like you're the fucking problem, I guess.

Dr. Michael Salla #ufo #crackpot #conspiracy

Clif High #crackpot #ufo #wingnut #conspiracy

Omifukkingawd, I finally figured it out. I figured out what this is. Makers/Doers being the pinnacle of society? Ancient Astronauts holding mankind down to exploit our ideas and labour? People, it's Ayyyyyynnnn Raaaaaand in Spaaaaaace!