kuyohashi

@kuyohashi

Ken Ham #crackpot #dunning-kruger

Right, clearly the logical truth of it all is that women are just talking ribs. Evolution is hard, so let's go with sorcery.

You are a clown, Hambone.

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

Why in the sacred name of cheese would anyone ever vote for the party that's actual public platform is, “y’all didn't really want all them rights now, did ya?”

Charlie Kirk #conspiracy #pratt #racist #wingnut

Feynman and Coulter's Love Child #racist

Mr. Incredible #conspiracy

@Chloe #188090

Clearly, MARK WAHLBERG, MICHEAL MOORE, and GEORGE W. BUSH murdered some random porn star because MWAHAHAHAHA moustache twirling evil and stuff.

And then because mescaline and psychosis give you super-detective powers, folks like OP were able to see the threads connecting it all.

Mark Wiering #enbyphobia

Welcome to the English language, Mark, it's going to eat you alive!

Babylon Bee #wingnut #transphobia

Babylon Bee's Head Writer: “Oh boy, my cutting wit and pithy remarks are sure to cut those icky homos down to the quick! Truly I am this generations Oscar Wilde, except I like the boobies!”

BB's HW's Mom: “Melvin, are you done playing newsman down there?”

BB’s HW: “Maaaaaaaaawm, I'm not playing, I'm winning the culture wars! I just wrote a hiii-larious article tearing the trans community apart by insinuating that they'll all regret it in five years despite all evidence to the contrary! I can almost see those snowflakes seething into their soy lattes and avocado toast right now, when they see how right I am! Then they'll regret all those swirlies and calling me pizza-face!”

BB's HW's Mom: “That's nice, dear. I only ask because I need to wash the laundry, and your sheets need a good bleaching again.”

BB's HW: “Ugh! Fine! You can do the stupid laundry. I have to go dig up some more ‘facts’ for my next chain of hard-hitting bullshit stories attacking entire communities already put upon by an apathetic and openly hostile society!”

Tucker Carlson and Wendy Patterson #conspiracy #crackpot #forced-birth #quack #racist

Joseph Ludapo - I have too much respect for science to ever refer to him as a ‘doctor’ - is exactly the kind of window-licking moron that would microwave a spider, thinking it was his ticket to easy superpowers.

Someone needs to explain to him that we put foreign DNA into our bodies every time we eat something, and yet the number of man-chicken-carrot hybrids strutting around is shockingly low.

Then said vague heroes of science need to strip him of his position as Florida's SG, revoke his medical license, and send him back to Kindergarten so he can undergo actual education.

various commenters #wingnut #racist

Ugh. Here we fuckin’ go.

Average IQ would literally be around 150

HOLY FUCK, YOU CONSANGUINOUS ASSHOLE, THAT IS NOT HOW IQ WORKS, YOU INBRED FUCKSTICK! THE AVERAGE IQ WILL ALWAYS BE 100!! IF YOU SOMEHOW GET YOUR GATTACA DYSTOPIA, AND KIDS LEARN HOW TO BUILD WARP ENGINES OUT OF LEGO BRICKS, THE AVERAGE WILL STILL BE FUCKING 100! IT'S A SLIDING SCALE, YOU GOAT-FELLATING SON OF A NEARSIGHTED GYNOCOLOGIST!!

sickness and disease would be virtually eliminated

HOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!? ! UNDER WHAT BIOLOGICAL MECHANISM WOULD BREEDING HUMANS LIKE FUCKING SHOW PONIES ELIMINATE SHIT LIKE CANCER AND THE COMMON FUCKING COLD, YOU LICKER OF RANCID TOAD BELLIES? WE ALREADY PRACTICE EUGENICS ON ANIMALS - FUCK, WHERE DO YOU FUCKING THINK POODLES AND DALMATIONS COME FROM - AND THEY'RE FUCKING RIFE WITH MEDICAL ISSUES, YOU COD-SUCKER!!

creative capacity would be a thousand times what it is now

IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING CREATIVE, COME UP WITH A NEW CONCEPT THAT WASN'T FUCKING DEBUNKED IN THE NINETEENTH FUCKING CENTURY, YOU DOLLOP OF CONGEALED HYENA JISM!

the average person would be tall, lean, athletic, and beautiful.

AND HAVE THE GENETIC DIVERSITY OF A MID-’90S NBC SITCOM, WITH HALF THE CHARISMA YOU'D FIND AT THE BOTTOM OF A MOULD-INFUSED GARBAGE CAN, YOU CLOWN-ASSED GOPHERDICKED MONKEYFUCKER!

*Sigh!*

Kibeth, old_but_gold & AriadneOnNaxos #transphobia

God-fucking-dammit, these people are exhausting. And horrible.

Paul White Gold Eagle #magick #ufo #crackpot

Don't drink thermometers, people. Just…don't.

Ray Comfort #dunning-kruger #fundie #kinkshaming

“Then I ask these atheists, who are totally real and everyone can see them, if they think I'm handsome, and they all agree that I'm handsome, and strong, and smart, and certainly don't look like a placeholder graphic used by the To Catch a Predator FX team. Then they all shake my hand, tears in their eyes, big guys, big atheists, and thank me for making them realize that magic is indeed real and reality isn't.”

“Then I go home to check if Kirk Cameron left me any voicemails - he hasn't, but I certainly don't cry in the shower while eating a banana over it, nope, not me, sir - and relax knowing that these totally real events validate what I already believed.”

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

I know several people who have died. From cancer, from old age, one from falling down the stairs while fetching another bottle from the wine cellar. How many do you think have ever eaten a sandwich? Pretty damned suspicious. I heard Elvis ate sandwiches, too. JFK probably ate sandwiches. But Big Sandwich doesn't want you to know that their product kills.

The point is, eat a sandwich, and you will die!!!

Also, go Root yourself, Wayne.

Nick Fuentes #wingnut #conspiracy

“Of course it was a terrorist attack, that's why I like it! Let me recount this massive list I have detailing all the ways I'm a horrible piece of shit!”

Ferry Man ‘s toll #racist

Sir John A. was Scottish. I'm pretty sure that's one of those non-Aryan peoples WN would gleefully immolate to keep their turgid murder-boners up.

Emma 🌼🏳️‍🌈 #biphobia #moonbat

Well this seems legally ironclad. Sorry, Ms. Swift, but Emma said you can't date Whatsisname. I know, I know, but as we all know, Emma was declared Grand Arbiter of Who Gets to Fuck, narrowly beating out Brian Neidermeyer or whatever the fucking fuck his fucking name is, I can't be arsed enough to give a shit. My point is, Emma has decreed it so, and none may defy the word of Emma.

Donald Trump #dunning-kruger #crackpot

What I love about this moron is, he can't stop indicting himself. He has to instantly prove that his detractors are right about him. He claims to be a stable genius, then in the next breath says he can turn magnets off with water and declassify documents with the power of the mind. I expect he'll walk into one of his many trials carrying a mailbag full of evidence against him at some point in the future.

Liz Wheeler #conspiracy #wingnut

“I mean, sure, yeah, we totally said we were going to march on Washington, and we were totally gonna bring weapons and kill our political enemies because some fat, drug-addled slum lord with a penchant for young girls biologically related to him told us to and we are naught but puppets on strings, but that was just locker talk! We’d never actually DO it! We're spineless, gutless cowards! And everyone knows that a coward's courage doesn't come from numbers and hubris, nosiree. We perfectly rational, reasonable people, who just happen to think a bipedal slug with such moral turpitude as to rawdog a porn star as his third wife spat out his fifth spare set of kidneys is also somehow the Second Fucking Coming! Sane people!”

various commenters #wingnut #racist #psycho

It is so weird watching white supremacists pretend that they'd let the Irish into their fucking book club.

various commenters #wingnut #racist

Meanwhile cops around the country were kneeling for BLM as they burned down every city in America.

Huh. Didn't see that one on the news. The pyroclastic devastation of an entire country must have been pre-empted by, y'know, fucking terrorists trying to overthrow the government because some nepotistic Baby Huey with a magnum load in his Huggies dropped his fucking binky.

Donald J. Trump #wingnut

“BARRON, MY PHONE'S DOING THAT THING WITH THE BIG LETTERS AGAIN! WHAT BUTTON DO I PRESS TO SOUND LESS LIKE A CRAZY OLD GUY AGAIN?”
“…”
“BARRON? BA-VANKY? DON, JR? AH SHIT, EVEN ERIC AT THIS POINT?"
"…”
“GUYS, COME ON, DADDY REALLY NEEDS HELP HERE! SLEEPY JOE MADE MY PHONE DO THE BIG LETTERS THING, AND I NEED A CHANGE, PRESIDENT DADDY DID A BOOM-BOOM AGAIN!”
“…”
“FINE, SEE IF I PAY OFF YOUR CREDIT CARD BILLS, DRUG CARTEL DEBTS OR LEGAL FEES AGAIN! THIS IS THE WORST BETRAYAL SINCE YOUR MOTHER DUMPED ME FOR CHEATING ON HER! AND TO CLARIFY, SHE BETRAYED ME BY NOT BEING COOL WITH MY CHEATING!”

various commenters #wingnut #racist

What, exactly, is “radical individualism,” what do they have against it, and what dreadful, post-apocalyptic Orwellian alternative do they want to impose on the rest of us?

William Henry #magick #ufo #conspiracy #crackpot #mammon

$371 just to hear how we're all Jedi space phantoms. Oh, bravo, you magnificent, amoral bastard.

Andrew Anglin #sexist

Because the basic nature of sexuality is that men do not prey on women, but the reverse

shy, we got another one coming in from Bizarro World. You'd think Bizarro-Shrewy would be a decent human being who loves all races equally and doesn't advocate for genocide and rape. I guess the only difference between the two Shrewdicks is their tastes in hats or something.

Ray Comfort #fundie

“Everybody secretly knows that my opinions are the only right ones to have, that my believes are the only true ones out there, and that I therefore am Creation's Favorite Little Idiot! I am always right and everyone else is always wrong!”

Fuck all the way off, Ray-Ray.

Mr. Imperialist #racist

Pretty sure we confederated and left the Empire, asshole. And Canadians are ethnically whatever their grandparents were. It's how I claim to be Dutch, even though I've never actually left Ontario.

Also, fun fact, but both my parents and myself were technically born as British subjects. Then the law changed and we were retroactively stripped of that status, so now, we never were British subjects. Maybe not fun, but I think it's interesting, at least.

unlearningtrans #transphobia

“All these experts keep denying my prejudices and biases! Someone in this equation is wrong, and since I am biased, it simply can't be me!”

Kevin Sorbo #fundie

Because 1) I have strong childhood nostalgic memories about curling up at the base of our Christmas tree, watching the lights twinkle, and eventually falling asleep and 2) I enjoy giving things to people.

Whereas Kevin “spent the better part of a decade traipsing around the NZ countryside with my tits out” Sorbo only does anything because he's either being bribed with promises of post-mortem paradise, or extorted with threats of post-mortem punishment.

Kamuroshiryu #dunning-kruger #conspiracy #crackpot

They are nobody else's personal mouthpiece which Stan Lee surely did not want, even if he was alive.

Under Stan's pen, the X-Men were cancelled and reduced to reprints for five years. Then came a Brit and a Canadian to reinvigorate the property and take it in ways Stan never imagined. Hell, Chris and John took the concept of “superpowers as analogy for the Civil Rights Movement” and ran it to the hilt. Under Stan, the most you'd get is some bystander saying “Arrgh! Darn mutants, I sure don't like them.” After Stan, you get segregation. You get hate groups and genocides and terrorism couched in racial and genetic terms and talks of legislating control over a minority population. I don't know if Stan ‘wanted’ the grim realism that was injected into his concept - let's be honest, I'd say 75% of his comic work was just for the paycheck, so I doubt he gave it much thought in the end - but you can't deny that the IP flourished under other writers.

It's why the best Swamp Thing run ever isn't by the OG creator. Why the best Batman run came long after Kane and Finger. Stan designed the house, other writers made it a mansion.

My point is, don't lionize the original creators so much, stop clutching your fucking pearls just because others are getting a shot at the spotlight, and stop bitching about movies that not only having been released yet, but haven't even bee fucking filmed yet.

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #fundie #wingnut

Or or or, and stay with me, Rooty, this gets very technical and almost Machiavellian in it's complexity - what if "they,” whomever “they” are, he doesn't specify, simply, legitimately disagree with you and your calls for anyone who doesn't look, think, act, live or love like you to be exterminated or oppressed? What if they really do just think you're wrong?

What if you're the asshole, Wayne?

Jesse Lee Peterson #wingnut

“A thousand people think my lemonade is terrible! They must all be wrong and evil and conspiring against my lemonade stand! It couldn't possibly be that they honestly think my lemonade - which is just Lemon Pledge with a few sugar cubes added - is honestly awful, and may have actually killed a few people! Thing I like can't be bad, I like thing!”

A dude so lacking in self-awareness, he calls the cops on the black man that lives in his bathroom mirror.

Donald J. Trump #wingnut

“OF COURSE HE CAN TELL THE COURTS TO BACK OFF ME! EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT, THE MOMENT YOU ARE NAMED PRESIDENT, WHICH I TOTALLY WAS, THEY HAND YOU THE NUCLEAR CODES, THE TRUTH ABOUT ROSWELL, AND A MAGIC WAND THAT ALLOWS YOU TO DO WHATEVER THE SWEET MONKEY FUCK YOU WANT WITHOUT ANY REGARDS TO LEGALITY OR CONSTITUTIONALITY!!

WHAT, THEY DON'T? B-BUT…OH SHIT, DOES THAT MEAN I ACTUALLY DID COMMIT CRIMES? AW FUCKBALLS, WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE TELL ME THAT THE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE DOESN'T COME WITH A WISH-GRANTING GENIE, I NEVER WOULD HAVE APPLIED FOR THE FUCKING JOB THEN!”

Jesse Lee Peterson #forced-birth #wingnut

@Skyknight #184522

*Sssshhh! He doesn't know that he's black.*

That, or being beaten by Segregation-era cops and attack dogs is his kink and he's dragging us all in with him.

“How dare those uppity n*groes ask for the dignity of being treated like human beings, to have full protection under the law and to have the country they have fought and died for not characterize them as foreigners, children, animals, criminals, or property! Things were better when full grown men were afraid to make eye-contact with a White *cue angelic choir SFX* person, and where speaking to the wrong White *cue angelic choir SFX* person could get them murdered! I liked it when the law protected racist murderers and not their victims, those were the days, yessireebob!”

“And why does everyone keep holding up a mirror whenever I start talking about how the Bad Old Days for black people were really the Best Old Days for black people? I don't know what point you're trying to make by showing me my own reflection, but all I see is what I've always seen - flowing blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, and lily White *cue angelic choir SFX* skin. Why, what colour does everyone else see when they look at me?”

Jill Colton #fundie

“When we said ’cookies for everyone,’ we clearly meant ‘cookies just for us! Nobody else gets any cookies!’ How did you not get that right away, it seems pretty obvious that we're assholes!”

Va te faire foutre, connard.

Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 #conspiracy #wingnut

Marge Three-Toes: “Viruses don't infect kids! They're like bars, they card anyone who looks too young! And besides, COVID isn't real! Viruses aren't real! The world is flat, rabbits chew cud, and I have the brain of a fully developed human adult utterly unaffected by a lifetime of drinking windshield wiper fluid! All these truths and more can be found in my latest book, Eating Lead Paint Chip Sandwiches: Tales From the Dumbest Trailer Park Gorgon in Georgia!, co-written by eleven-time Newbury winner, George Santos! Available out of the trunk of my car!”

Donald J. Trump #wingnut

You literally stood up in front of a throng of your slack-jawed Flav-R-Ade-suckers and literally slipped out that you were at war with democracy. Either your addo-brenzo mix is off, or your dementia is progressing at a sprinter's clip, but either way, you are the embodiment of ex stultitia, veritas, out of stupidity, truth.

various commenters #wingnut #racist

But there were black Romans. There were black Roman Emperors. There was a black samurai. Vikings served as bodyguards to caliphs and sheikhs. The idea that countries and cultures were fenced in with ironclad borders is both recent and wrong.

But you're right, our vision is a future where people like you don't exist. And never did.

Benjamin Lee Fulford #crackpot #racist #wingnut #conspiracy

Do you think Benjy mixes all those cleaning solutions together before he drinks them, or does he take them neat? On the rocks? Twist of lime, maybe with a little paper umbrella or something?

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

Odd how none of these sycophants ever declare that, should the Commander in Thief be convicted and denied more opportunities to betray his country, that they would step up and save America in his place. They always insist that it just has to be Donald. Wayne doesn't throw his hat into the ring, MTG doesn't make a run for the big chair, Gym Jordan stumps for someone else to do it. If they believe so damned much that Trumpism is the only way forward, and they're all die-hard Trumpists, why don't they take a swing?

Oh right, because it’s all just a grift, they don't actually believe any of this, they just want on the gravy train.

@Nature_and_Race, @SouthPole & @Jagdpanzer #racist #wingnut #crackpot

Here's a handy little reminder for these volefuckers:
Hitler. Hated. Everyone. Who. Wasn't. Fucking. German.
No Exceptions

Zetas via Erena Velazquez #ufo #magick #quack #conspiracy

I am Zetas, a top scientist of progressive group of Greys, who work and interact with the Galactic Light Forces as alliance.

And I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.

Eric Hovind #fundie

Uh-huh.

How many legs does an insect have, Eric?

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

You should have acted.
They're already here.
The Mean Tweets told of their return.
Their defeat was merely delay
Til the time after Obamagate opened,
When the sons of MAGA would spill their own blood.
But no-one wanted to believe.
Believe they even existed.
And when the truth finally dawns:
It dawns in fire.
But,
There's one they fear.
In their tongue, he's Librulkiin:
Democrat Born!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsnRQJxanVM

various commenters #transphobia

“This is what AAAAAAAAALL transpeople are like, no exceptions, no outliers, no evidence needed to backup our claims! Behold, we, the mighty Council of Gatekeepers into Womanhood, had decreed it so!”

Also, girls can't like D&D and video games? Someone tell Laura Bailey!

Wayne Allyn Root #wingnut

“Dear Diary,
Oh-Emm-Gee, I had the dream again last night! You know the one - where I'm asleep in one of those fancy canopy beds with the curtains, and the big double picture window-door things swing open, and the fancy Victorian drapes billow in the warm night air, and he floats in. Yeah, it was him, Trump-sempai, all buff and sweaty from what I imagine are his arduous workouts and not from the strenuous effort of running away from his many, many legal problems? Anyway, he was standing there in the moonlight, his hair blowing in the breeze like a yak in a wind tunnel, and he looked at me and said, “Wait, this isn't Ivanka's room? This isn't the room of a twelve-year-old girl at all!” And I couldn't even breath, Diary, he was just so dreamy, with his leathery, sallow skin, you could really see the flop sweat, bronzer and what I assume was bacon grease just accentuating the wrinkles on his aged face. He stood there like a Greek god - Dionysus, I think, all fat and slovenly. He leaned over me, and I was just shaking, thinking he was going to finally kiss me, but no, it turns out that he just stands at a forty-five degree angle for some reason; I think he saw Smooth Criminal once and he's been trying to do The Lean ever since. I wish I could tell you it ended with Trump-sempai sweeping me into his thick, meaty arms and belching sweet nothings into my ear, but my stupid Mom woke me up before I could get to the good part, and I had to take care of myself in the shower, sorry for the TMI.”

Super Kru Cosmic Commander Z Dr. Kosol Ouch #crackpot #quack #ufo #magick #conspiracy

First of all, Dr. Ouch sounds like an OG 1984 Care Bears villain. “Oh no, Grumpy Bear! Watch out, it's Dr. Ouch, the Dastardly Dentist of Despair! He never hands out lollipops, no matter how good a patient you are!”

Second, are they still using the Gregorian calendar in the 6,575,100th century? There have been no major events, no fine-tuning to how we measure time, no colossal shakeups to human society that would alter how we mark the passage of time? They still use our modern days of the week, too?

Thirdly, what happened to the square-cube law in the future, that we have people who can so casually ignore it just by existing. There's a reason you don't see too many people topping eight feet in height, and why those that do don't last long. Like the Billy Crystal movie says, there are no old giants.

Finally, by what mechanism did Skynet transfer the electrical impulses that constitute the human mind through fucking time?

Ann Coulter #conspiracy #wingnut

@JeanP #182103

More infallible than the Pope. They don't like the Pope much, either because:

A) He's one of them Calflicks.
B) He's not nearly as hate-blinded as they are
or
C) He's secretly a nine-foot tall crested iguana from Alpha Centauri VI sent by our saurian overlords to drink the drug-enriched blood of our children and trap us all in the 3D Matrix where our bodies can be used as batteries to power the holographic sky and deny us our rightful place as Princes of the Universe.

Oddly enough, it's never for any of the legitimate issues one could have with the Catholic church or the Papacy.

various commenters #wingnut #racist

“Hail, fellow racist inbreds! Say, have any of you six-toed fellas noticed that our efforts to spread our braindead ideology like the intellectual chlamydia it is seem to fall on deaf ears?”

“Yeah, it's like the vast majority of people can see our homicidal bullshit for the self-serving fantastical thinking and checklist of cartoon racial stereotypes it is!”

“Do you think maybe we're in the wrong on this one and a society diverse in both thought and life experience, from across the human spectrum, might be better than our shallow genepool dystopia?”

“No, it's the sane and rational people who are wrong! People who don't look like me are BAD, because they don't look like me, who is GOOD! Now let's make a checklist of the people we want to don't want to kill!”

“Oh what's the point, our checklists of people we don't want to kill are all just our own names. We hate everyone else!”