Dorzanath

@Dorzanath

Happy Science #fundie

@Conscience #207674

Close enough. According to Happy Science, their god El Cantare created “branch spirits” to send down to Earth after Satan caused the first inhabitants of Earth, the Magellanic-Cloud People, to sin to such an extent the Earth’s consciousness sunk their kingdom underwater. Moreover, they also believe that humans are reincarnations of spirits (angels and demigods), born with a specific purpose dictated by their god to “better” humanity (which to them are CEOs. Yes, they genuinely believe that the wealthy 1% worldwide are demigods seeking to better the world).

So any elite rando from your cult can be your famed reincarnation of the Buddha (an idea used as a blasphemous take on the Maitreya)? So much for the promised Savior, they have to update their canon to give false hope that they're still on time to defeat King Catboy Satan.

Christain Pundit #fundie #conspiracy

The Faeries via Nicky Hamid #magick #ufo

Stonetoss #biphobia #sexist

@Bastethotep #205363

why does she look so happy when she sees the 29th-birthday-cake?

It's Pebblehead's attempt at a Beat, meant to convey that "women will call themselves bisexual until they realize their biological clock is ticking".

Think Before You Sleep #ableist #dunning-kruger

Well, what would we expect from a redpiller bordering on MGTOW?

Biblical Gender Roles #sexist #fundie

@Bastethotep #204756

AI programmed in Temple OS

Hey Bast, don’t give the fundies nor the AIbros any ideas! Especially the latter ones as the AIs they’re worshiping are taking a toll on the power grids.

Paul White Gold Eagle #magick #ufo #crackpot #quack #conspiracy

BroThors and SiStars

I imagine a bunch of annoying dudebros with Thor's powers and fans of the K-pop duo SISTAR. These New Agers keep embarrassing themselves every day.

A’Ho!

Isn't your Lemurian salute similar to a Japanese word for dumb?

UPDATE:

the Eagle flies with the Condor

OP, you shouldn't have listened to "El Condor Pasa" while on acid nor shrooms.

Laura Loomer #racist

OP, I think your line about the mugshot, sneakers, and baby-mamas is not as much the flex you think it is, especially when trying to get more black voters for your Orange Overlord. But again, you threw a tantrum over a blue checkmark until the Muskrat allowed people like you to buy it. Pathetic.

Natalia Alba #magick #ufo #dunning-kruger

John W Armstrong #quack #crackpot

Then don't start crying when your system is getting infected and you're dying from a urinary or even gastric infection. Although I won't be surprised if they used, ahem, “the Number 2″ as alternative medicine.

Galzu/Ninmah via Janet Kira Lessin #ufo #magick #conspiracy

Cobra/The Portal #crackpot #ufo #magick #conspiracy

Blue Zero #ableist #dunning-kruger #wingnut

I bet you’ll sing a different tune if you become “defective” from an accident (amputation, paralysis, brain damage from a concussion, etc.)

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 #conspiracy #wingnut

TheKnitta & NastasyaFillipovna #transphobia

Donald Trump #wingnut #dunning-kruger

Even if the Orange Overlord's scheme came to pass, it'll never occur to him that blackouts and brownouts happen, so they'll get a hilarious surprise when the electronic play money in their computers goes up in smoke the moment the power goes out in their vicinities.

Brent D. Cates #wingnut #conspiracy

WHO empowered Donald Trump?

Don't tell me, OP, you think it was God, isn't it? If so, how come it didn't prevent your Orange Overlord from bankrupting any casino that fell into his hands nor strike down Joe Biden with lightning or disease when he, in your view, cheated to win the presidency? Or will you fold and say such failures are all part of God's Plan for Humanity™?

Oh, I forgot, you will.

Rev. Joel Webbon #fundie #homophobia

Don't tell me, Joel Huevón... you also want LGBTQ people executed in town squares by the townsfolk? If so, it doesn't surprise me.

EDIT: Huevón is slang for lazy where I live. And I realized his name was Joel rather than Mike. My bad.
EDIT 2: ...And now is that I see his face and I can easily mistake him for Matt Walsh.

Lisa Oswald #magick #ufo #crackpot

Doesn't the OP consider that if the Akashic Records were real, not only would these be filled with the knowledge humanity acquired via the scientific method but also with all sorts of quackery, deception, and bullshit like the OP's comment. After all, no one is unbiased and such a "mystic library" would be a collection of all of humanity's biases throughout the ages rather than mind-blowing knowledge, and the future they predict would be nothing but the plans and fears of humans about it. That's how I interpret such a concept.

American Hypnotist #crackpot #conspiracy #dunning-kruger

Koryos

Can’t you come up with a better name for your boogeyman secret society, OP, or do you think the 2012 version of Red Dawn is a documentary?

UPDATE: Forgot to mention Homefront, which is a videogame with an absurd plot more accurate to what the OP thinks (North Korea becomes an empire and singlehandedly defeats the USA).

Peter B. Meyer #crackpot #conspiracy #racist

and the world of the past was far more advanced culturally and technologically than it is today?

That reminds me of an article I read in the 1998 issue of Escuela para Todos which my late grandpa kept in his pantry, about an old legend told by Costa Rican elders with the same premise, only that the people of that civilization did everything to stay young, not die, and remain happy without inconvenience (from refusing to fall in love or suffer to drinking children’s blood or switching hearts and brains with younger people). Eventually, those people cried out and cursed God for making them exist only to die, age and suffer, and thus He sent a tornado that destroyed everything, with the people turning into ants.

Marjorie Taylor Greene #wingnut #dunning-kruger #pratt

At this point, RWNJs would be more than willing to rebel against the Jesus they claim to worship if He so much leads their precious Pig Vomit into the Gehenna at Judgment Day.

MassResistance #forced-birth #homophobia

@Sasha #199362

What? MAGAts are really doing that? That reminds me of the Kent State incident when Mr. Carlitos Kirk started a "diaper protest" against Political Correctness™ only to become a laughingstock.

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

@Citizen_Justin #199108

And even if Soros croaked as right-wingers hope for, his children would still continue the legacy. Moreover, RWNJs like Mr. Rooted-Out-of-Reality would go after the children while whining about Soros not dying in a way these nuts deemed he deserved. Just adding my two cents in this situation.

Stew Peters #wingnut #conspiracy #psycho

Even if you were smart enough to shoot down any drone coming your way while attempting to mow down the fucking US Army (which I doubt), snipers can still do you in by shooting that hot-air chamber you call a skull.

Buddha via Erena Velazquez #magick #ufo #crackpot

I second @kuyohashi here. Since the Shakyamuni Buddha achieved the Nirvana, he can no longer reincarnate and therefore, he should be impossible to channel as he "ceased to exist" right as he meditated under the Bodhi tree.

It would be more plausible if OP channeled his evil cousin Devadatta instead and claimed he's repentant or something like that... Oh wait, she won't because Devadatta is not an "Ascended Master".

EDIT: Fixing some syntax for clarity.

James Howard Kunstler #wingnut #sexist #conspiracy

Bibhu Dev Misra #crackpot #conspiracy #magick

Colonel Otaku Gatekeeper #wingnut #racist

<@Dr.Weird> #195126

Well, otakus/weebs who become Nazis made that concession because the Japanese Empire was an ally of Nazi Germany. Therefore, the most delusional or pompous of these people think they’ll either be at the top of an alt-right society since their edgy isekai anime implies that “the loser protagonist will be the one saving the day in the Other World and put the cool kids who bullied him, IN THEIR PLACE!!!1!1!” Furthermore, they don’t realize or care that the Nazis they support will eventually see them as “Degenerates” and kill them as well. Moreover, they think that joining the alt-right is like an anime adventure where they will eventually triumph and “prove their worth as heroes”. That’s my speculation.

Ashtar via Erena Velazquez #ufo #magick

If hacks like this can write bullshit and pass it off as "channeling" aliens, I can.

I am Exial, ambassador of the Intergalactic Union. I'm sending this transmission as my agents got reports of people believing they're channeling messages from the Pleiades and an alleged "Commander Ashtar."

Let me tell you, you're being tricked. The Pleiades is too young to be hospitable to life, and even if aliens could live there, it would be used as a secret base for the worst scum of this and nearest galaxies. Moreover the alleged Ashtar is actually a wanted criminal and cult leader for the charges of embezzlement, calls to violence against other planets, and running a cattle-rustling ring in Mars, which also explains those stories of UFOs stealing Earth farmers' cows.

To be honest, doing this is too easy for me.

EDIT: corrected a typo and improved the narration.

Laura Loomer #biphobia

It’s called being selfish.

Says the one who threw a tantrum over having her blue checkmark removed, and that's before Elongated Muskrat bought Twitter.

So who's the selfish one, OP?

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia

@Passerby #192712

Good point.

While I abhor those Isekai novels, especially the Healer one, I think that the reason people create "Overpowered Edgy MC" light novels is that these authors are otakus themselves and therefore write Otaku MCs to make other otaku readers feel sorry for them until the OMC becomes overpowered and exacts revenge on his bullies while demonstrating that "the useless, filthy otaku would be the one saving the normies' sorry hides when things go south". Given that most otakus and weebs tend to be introverts and resent "normies" well into adulthood, on top of being targeted by culture-war propaganda, they also want to reenact the MC's revenge not only on their bullies (even if some of them changed and even became anime fans as well), but on progressives and feminists for "persecuting" them and "taking anime away from them" (despite the fact that there are feminists and progressives who like anime but acknowledge its flaws). It's even worse with politically-involved Healer and Shield Hero fans, who wish they could have his powers to enslave feminists as "payback". Sheesh.

Wayne Allyn Root #wingnut

Erena Velazquez #conspiracy #crackpot #magick

After leaving Earth I was able to gently transition to a new body to continue to be a researcher in higher realms and make useful contributions in developing new and safe technologies. I don’t miss my human life at all, as it was very challenging to make innovations and implement them into a real world during those times.

That phrase reminds me of those scenes from the Happy Science movie The Laws of Eternity where the MC and his girlfriend enter the "Bodhisattva Realm," which is, according to said far-right cult, home to CEOs and other privileged people who "changed people's lives for the better," including the thieving Edison while suspiciously leaving Tesla out.

Sarah234 #magick

Judith Kusel #magick #ufo #crackpot

Let me guess, OP, you don't have concrete proof of Avalon existing because maybe it's people grew conceited, abandoned religion, and got constantly possessed by demons so the Earth awakened to sink them and their land underwater for their sins...? [/Happy Science]

History Channel #ufo #conspiracy #mammon

@JeanP #177761

Speaking about TLC, the Latin American version stands for "Travel & Living Channel." At least that one's honest.

Pastor Rick Morrow #ableist #crackpot #fundie

@Kamodo & @AthenasWrench #transphobia

Shadow Warrior #moonbat #conspiracy

@TFAltHist #175917

That reminds me of the Godom Empire from the anime movie The Mystical Laws. Except it was anti-Chinese propaganda from the Japanese New Age cult Happy Science, which was notorious for not only pushing denialism of Japan’s war crimes but also wanting to do away with Article 9 of the Japanese constitution under the belief it forbids the country from fending off invasions (and if abolished they’d have people drafted into going to war with China to prevent the movie’s scenario in the first place).

Marjorie Taylor Greene & various commenters #wingnut #quack

Michael W. Ford & UncleSpertz #elitist #god-complex #magick #sexist

@Timjer #169437

I already watched the movie, and it's clear Tighten is a superpowered incel with all the destruction he caused because Roxanne turned him down, not to mention she was the only reason he became a super in the first place.

I wouldn’t want to imagine what would happen if incels actually had superpowers or magic on their side like their overpowered isekai manga protagonists. Although it would be funny if someone from another world summoned a group of these talking sacks of bile just to defeat the Demon Lord only to eventually turn on each other, they would still destroy everything with those hypothetical powers and the Demon Lord would be surprised to have his work done for him.

Charlie Fuqua #psycho #fundie

Rob Zillig #quack

OP, if you get to the advanced stage of rabies because of your own refusal to vaccinate, you’ll wish you were vaccinated or dead long ago.

…If the ensuing encephalitis lets you retain your sanity long enough to even wish such a thing, that is.

Joey Mannarino #wingnut #transphobia #homophobia

Part of me hopes these fundies suffer the fate of the scummy Noble Raios Antonius from SAO Alicization.

When Kirito chopped off his arms in their battle, he was torn between preserving his own life at the expense of his equally scummy friend Humbert and risk being branded as a criminal, and not disobeying the Taboo Index he loved to bully people with.

In the end, his mind broke so hard, he died.

But on the other hand, these Chick-fil-A lovers might snap instead so I'm not holding my breath.

@icycalm , @Paul4the2A & @Taranis1114 #wingnut #racist

If Jews and nonwhites really, really , REALLY wanted whites dead, don't you think they'd have already carried out the White Genocide(TM) long ago instead of dragging it out for centuries? If that's the case, why are you still here, OP?

This makes me want to whip out this sign at the OP:

image

Out of 100 problems you have, 10 are for being a dumbass and 90 for being a meddler.

And I can't believe I used to believe white supremacist drivel in my younger years despite not being white (I'm Salvadorean).

John Gideon Hartnett #conspiracy

@Anon-e-moose #165113

Better yet, those'll cook their balls when their pants are on fire from so much lying.